We wish you a digital Xmas
Before the Christmas bells can joyfully chime, the Santa Claus Corporation has still a few things do get done. What needs loading onto which sleigh? Who’s assigned to which delivery zone? Is the system ready to get everything to where it has to go? And how’s Santa Claus going relax once he’s finished all his Christmas tasks? Five more episodes, on how Santa’s set to deliver everything without fuss and then take a well-deserved Christmas holiday.
6. Every present needs to be wrapped: it wouldn’t be a proper Christmas gift otherwise! Each parcel is given its delivery address on the carefully monitored and serviced packing line (using predictive maintenance). Back in the old days, the elves did the job by hand. But since address labels often fell off or got mixed up – with grandpa getting the eight-piece jigsaw and the baby getting a pipe – Santa Claus decided to introduce digital delivery notes. They make all delivery information to come up on screen in whatever language the operator elf prefers.
7. The elves can then get on with loading the gifts on the fleet of sleighs. Each sleigh then waits behind its carefully monitored and serviced roller shutter for clearance for takeoff. But not every elf has managed to pass the reindeer driving test. That’s why Santa plans his package delivery effort using a fleet management system. Clearly planned routes and the optimized use of reindeer truckers prevent sleighs from getting lost or visiting the same address twice.
8. To detect any damage done in transit to the Christmas gifts, Santa has fitted the entire fleet of sleighs with hi-tech sensors. The disappointment of unwrapping broken crockery, twisted model railway tracks or crushed chocolates is now a thing of the past. The low-cost tracker helps the delivery elves find the correct gifts in the sleigh’s cargo hold and constantly displays the vehicle’s progress along its delivery route. It also controls the temperature in the hold. And sends a warning when it detects any excessive shaking. This allows the elves to replace any damaged gift in good time. Once the presents are loaded onto the sleighs, Santa can keep a sharp eye on every one of them.
9. That means he can start the delivery stage of the operation with absolute confidence. Meanwhile, the head kitchen elf takes care of the festive turkey. Using a pair of VR goggles, he follows every step of the recipe created by Santa Claus’s favorite celebrity chef, and lifts the bird out of the oven neither a moment too soon nor too late. The only problem is that as a result Santa hasn’t fit down the chimney for several years now. But even that problem has a solution! He can use digital keys to open a back door through which he and even the stoutest of his elves can fit.
10. And ... that’s the lot! Done! It’s all delivered. All the sleighs are sent off to authorized sleigh workshops where the service elves are expecting them. And Santa Claus and the delivery elves can kick back and enjoy their winter holiday. They order a cab to the nearest station using the Taxiklingel system. It’s all done at the press of a button, without having to key in the taxi number (which they’ve usually forgotten anyway). So Santa and his elves can all slip calmly into “Driving Home for Christmas” mode, letting Deutsche Bahn do all the driving. The DB Navigator lets them know of any delays, showing them alternative modes of transport in real time. Which leaves them to concentrate on looking forward to their plump and juicy Christmas turkey.
I’d like to wish you all
a very happy (digital) Christmas!